WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
love makes seman taste better
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
