are you so shy because you have an std?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
