just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
