Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
