come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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