He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
