he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
