Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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