He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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