if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
