I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
