So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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