"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize