Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
