ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
