Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Fuck appropriateness.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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