We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
