awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
