Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
