He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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