dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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