I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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