I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think people are normalizing furries
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