My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
