I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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