i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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