proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
