I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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