all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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