how can u be prego again
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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