just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
