CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
