What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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