pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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