We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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