Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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