I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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