my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
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We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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