Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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