My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
