I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
