Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
