rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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