Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
