Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
