How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
