i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
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