a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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