We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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