those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
