So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
