It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
All I want is dick and wine.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
