Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If i come over, it means nothing
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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