I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.