looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize