I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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