You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.