brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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