the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
