Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
