he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
