quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
