let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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