we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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